holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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