Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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