Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
