everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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