yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!