Nicole vs. Life
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
