Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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