he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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