'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We are two peas in an std pod
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
