jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
