Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Randomize
