He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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