just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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