It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
