I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
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He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
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I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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