and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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