Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
