No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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