Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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