forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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