This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
