My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
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the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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