somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
