she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
