I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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