He is an equal opportunity slut.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize