listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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