Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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