I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
