yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
