put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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