Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
