You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
