I wish I only lived at night.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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