New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think people are normalizing furries
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
