Nicole vs. Life
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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