apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
i've created a new STD.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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