Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
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