hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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