You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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