just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
