so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
