At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
