That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
