Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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