Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
