Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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