Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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