Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
