On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize