tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize