so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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