He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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