All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
