it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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