Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Everything about him screamed your future.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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