I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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