i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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