Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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