the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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