I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
