You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
