its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
