I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
