just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
