Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
